When I talk to various people I have learned that some really do not understand what that word means.
That being said, in regards to relationships, commitment is so much more than monogamy and loyalty. Commitment is a choice you make to work together through the tough times — but especially when the relationship goes in a negative direction you don’t expect.
Similarly, we admire those relationships that were able to sustain over the years. If you talk to any of them they will have all have the commitment to each other and their relationship in common.
By the same token, I’ve had numerous people tell me they love me. I used to buy into it every single time because I held people at the same level I subscribed to when it came to true [love]. I would never say the word if I don’t mean it. My expectations were very high when it came to commitment. I am (still) forgiving, and understanding that people are human and make mistakes even when they love someone. As a result, my level of commitment is high.
This doesn’t mean I tolerate consistent nonsense from my partner.
Moreover, I believe true love = commitment.
How can one say they love you and quit the first time their commitment is tested. The moment the bullets start flying, the solider runs. The first time their back hurts, the athlete skips treatment and stays home. After failing 3 tests, the college student packs it in and gives up. How much success would’ve been had if people were not committed?
As an example, all the people you admire, Bill Gates, Oprah, Steve Jobs, Gandhi, MLK, Malcolm X, Margaret Thatcher, Winston Churchill, JFK, Albert Einstein, Mandela, Obama (Michelle and Barack).
All loved and admired, but they all have one thing in common. They all faced levels of failure, setbacks, immense amounts of criticism, bigotry, and/or racism. Yet, they still fought the good fight. Some failed initially and succeeded years later. Others were called crazy and now are called a genius.
Regardless, they all persevered because they were committed to their cause. And now we admire them. We admire their relationships. We admire their genius and success but forget the commitment it took. The work needed to get to their destination. They didn’t quit or run when things got hard.
Relationships work exactly like this.
All things considered, your level of commitment should be based on your partner’s character. Not a bad decision they made, or a moment they had. Never reward consistently belligerent behavior with blind commitment.